Dear God,

I have not been a very good daughter or a very good girlfriend lately. Snapping at my parents and my boyfriend for no reason has done me no good. I have turned into this monster, throwing anything and everything without conscience. I feel like I have not done your will all week or all my life. I know my character is not naturally like this, but Lord, why is it like this?

Why do I lash out in anger, or ignore wise sayings?
Why do I beat myself up over school when I know that in the end there is only the ones I love.
Why do I not make my boyfriend happy whenever he does his best to make me happy.
Why am I not the same person I was?

Lord, I feel like I have lost myself. I have lost my character, my kindness, my culture. I have just recently told him that I could not talk to him for a while because my poor attitude is diffusing into his character- which is one of the last things I was to do to a person. I rather corrupt myself and punish myself only for my problems rather than spread them to the ones I love.

Lord, I repent of my sins and the sorrow I have caused. I hope to be a better daughter, a better girlfriend and a better friend right now, because I am unaware if I will be alive tomorrow. I pray to be a better person and to be a shining influence in all the lives I touch.

I pray for mercy, forgiveness, love, wisdom and understanding. I love your grace lifting me up whenever I am in the car and listening to song that talk so great about you. I love singing and praising you. I thank you for all you have done for me; giving me this house to live in, wonderful parents, a great boyfriend, and friends that all stick by me thick and thin. I thank you for every breathe I take, every move I make, and every decision that I can make because these are all things that I take for granted Lord, and I pray to be the best child I can be.

Amen.

Dear God...

Dear God,

I had experienced many emotions this week. I was falsely scared and sad, and I was truely scared and sad. The way I felt during each situation all rooted from a happy moment. I have always wondered if happiness and negative feelings should be in equilibrium. Because lately, they have.

This week I though my friend was dead. I was scared. Knowing that in any moment someone can say their last words in an instant. As dumbfounded as I was, as shocked as my body was, I dropped my books and prayed. Turns out this friend trick many of us by pretending to be dead. Death and emotions are definitely not subjects anyone should joke about.

I found out that my dancing buddy at St. Lukes passed away a few weeks ago. He was in his 50s. What was so striking about his death was that he looked perfectly healthy, always had a happy face and was never tardy in his attitude or in his work. He was a joyful man. Although I didn't get to spend time with him for that long, I'm proud that I knew him. He is a happy man, who dance with me with the radio songs, in front of the pharmacy counter. I hope you are doing okay up there Mr. Richard.

And now today, I was at the gasoline station and I saw two people fighting. I couldn't quite eavesdrop during the quarrel, but I saw that the man had a gun, and the woman had a small pocket knife. The woman called the police, and I did too. I was frightened, for the woman and for all the people in the gasoline station. The guy had a pistol and could easily ruin lives who were simply at the wrong place at the wrong time.

Thank you for all your protection, your love, and the safety you give us Lord.
I hope everyone will be safe this summer, and come back in one piece.
Amen.